To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
