Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
