I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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