I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
