drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
