its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
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After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
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Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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