***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
