watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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