I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
