tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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