its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
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I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
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But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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