She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
