John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize