ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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