I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
