There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
