Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize