Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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