Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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