Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
