her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
