I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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