Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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