My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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