Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
