can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
