Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
