she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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