Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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