i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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