We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
