i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
