its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
this is an emotional support booty call
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
