I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
