So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
