I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
home. puking in laundry basket.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize