dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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