She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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