You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
