Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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