he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you're hired as official boob wrangler
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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