I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize