Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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