pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
