Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize