hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
A+ Viking dick
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
