She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
