So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
