Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
