The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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