i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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