I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
