Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
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Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
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I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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