She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
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Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
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I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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