areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
